


Chiaroscuro

by i_saw_sparks



Category: Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: Erotica, F/M, LDR, Love, Romance, Smut, long distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_saw_sparks/pseuds/i_saw_sparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chiaroscuro

She loved him more than anything, but she was growing so damn tired of waiting for him.  
  
It only frustrated her so much because she had barely seen him since she’d flown in the day before. Logan had picked her up from the airport, dropped her off at his apartment, and only minutes later, he’d had to rush back to the lot to polish up a few more scenes. She’d spent the rest of the evening watching television until she’d dozed off on the couch, waking up the next morning to find a blanket draped over her frame and a note on the coffee table swearing he’d be home by six.  
  
A quick glance at her cell phone confirmed the time, and with a heavy sigh, Kandi let her cheek rest against the couch cushion. Glazed over brown eyes wandered back to the television screen. Though it was only nine, he had promised her he’d be home by six, and she’d been lounging across the couch in her newest set of lacy lingerie for over three hours while she waited to surprise him.  
  
At this point, she felt more weighed down by boredom than sexy.  
  
Her first full day in L.A. had passed as slowly as any back home in South Carolina, and a part of her was beginning to regret her decision to fly out for fall break. With Logan busy with his work, she was forced to kill time hanging around his apartment on her own. An almost-lethal combination of strawberry poptarts, sugar-free Red Bull, and a venti pumpkin spice latte from the Starbucks on the corner substituted as breakfast, and she’d burned the excessive amount of caffeine by jumping on his bed and blasting a stream of fast-paced hip-hop songs through her headphones. She’d made her way through his closet, modeling half of his clothes around the apartment while she recreated Tom Cruise’s infamous scene from _Risky Business_ , sliding across the hardwood floors in her socks while she pulled the brim of his Dodgers cap down over her eyes.  
  
It was all in good fun, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t have done alone in her own apartment on the East Coast.  
  
Around noon, Kandi crashed, falling asleep to Dr. Phil’s Texan drawl in one of Logan’s t-shirts, her knees curled up to her chest on the couch. A couple hours later, once Dr. Phil reruns had faded into Rachel Ray’s annoying gruff voice, Kandi yanked herself out of her sleep, her bare feet padding across the living room as she shed her clothing on the way to the bathroom. Though his apartment had become like her home away from home on the West Coast, she still got that rush that accompanied being naked in some place that wasn’t her own apartment. Goosebumps adorned her fair skin as she stood in the bathroom, staring her reflection down in the mirror as she raked a hand through her hair. The steam from the shower quickly filled the small space as she searched the cabinets for a towel and washcloth.  
  
The warm stream of water flowing from the showerhead seemed to ease away all the exhaustion burrowed deep down in her muscles, bringing her back to life from the outside in. Her eyes scanned the array of hair products that lined the shower shelves, the majority undoubtedly James’s, until she found the familiar bottle of body wash, the one with the impossible-to-pinpoint fresh and masculine scent that was so distinctively Logan.  
  
Even when she was finished washing off, she stayed in the shower, letting the water droplets trickle down her face until the hot water ran out.  
  
The remainder of the afternoon was spent getting dolled up to surprise Logan. Though it normally wouldn’t have taken her so long to get ready, Kandi had nothing but time, so she used it, rubbing moisturizer into her cheeks and making her honey-brown eyes stand out with dark eyeliner and violet shadow. She got so completely caught up in having the time to spend pampering herself that she barely recognized herself when she was finished, her features dramatically accentuated with makeup and her wild, wavy locks wound around a curling iron until she got the perfect voluminous curls. Something about the entire process brought back memories of playing dress up when she was a little girl, and she was anxiously excited to get the chance to pounce on Logan as soon as he walked in the door. As she waited on the couch wearing nothing but her bra, a thong, and her new pair of black leather thigh-high boots, her mind ran rampant with the different courses the night could take.  
  
As the hours passed, her excitement fizzled out, her brunette curls began to droop, her liner smudged, and her boots lay discarded across the room. Now, three hours later, she was watching a rerun of _The Colbert Report_ and downing a bowl of microwaved macaroni and cheese. It was the opposite of how she imagined the night going.  
  
As soon as she heard a key turn in the lock, she shoved the mac and cheese aside on the coffee table, scurrying to slip back into her boots and appear posed as casually as possible across the couch. In the back of her mind, Kandi was silently praying that it was Logan and not James. James was usually pretty good about keeping out of the apartment on the weekends she came over, choosing to roam the city most of the night or spend the time with his girlfriend in her apartment downtown, but with the way that her day was going, Kandi wouldn’t have been surprised if this was the night he just so happened to have to stop by to get something.  
  
She let a sigh of relief to herself when she realized it was Logan, but he seemed utterly oblivious to her attempts at seduction. His keys clanked against the marble as he tossed them onto the kitchen counter, stress pulling at his expression as he slung his jacket over the back of the recliner. His head lolled back, his eyes closed as he let out an exaggerated groan.  
  
“Rough day?” she asked, trying to hide her own irritation.  
  
“Yeah,” he admitted. “People have been calling me nonstop all day with all this shit that I need to get done. Do this interview for this radio station. Do that interview for that magazine. Don’t forget you need to record your verse for this track.” He rolled his deep brown eyes. “They’re relentless.”  
  
“You poor thing,” she replied, a hint of laughter making its way through her voice.  
  
He began with a simple “I know,” but it wasn’t until she stood up and made her way over to him that he really noticed her. “So what sorts of trouble have you been getting into all day?”  
  
She offered him a soft shrug of her shoulders as she looked away. “Just hanging out, waiting for my oh-so-amazing boyfriend to get home. The same oh-so-amazing boyfriend that I flew all the way across the friggin’ country to see.”  
  
“Come on K, don’t do me like that. You know I’ve been busy with work.”  
  
“I know, and I feel like I’ve been pretty understanding,” she quickly came to her own defense, “but I need some Low-Low time too.”  
  
That made him crack a grin, his eyes creasing at the corners as he laughed to himself. “What are you talking about?”  
  
“Yeah, I tried to come up with a cute little nickname for you while you were gone today, and I had it narrowed down to either ‘Low-Low’ or ‘Poptart,’ but to be honest, I don’t really like either one of them.”  
  
“At least you tried,” he offered, leaning forward to leave a quick peck on her forehead, his breath warm against her skin. “But you’re not very good at it.”  
  
Her palms pressed against his chest, pushing him away playfully. “Stop trying to distract me! I’m trying to be serious and discuss things with you, and you’re trying to get me sidetracked.”  
  
“I’m sorry K, really, but I’m exhausted. You don’t understand that I’ve been working like crazy all week.”  
  
“I know, I know, but I’m leaving tomorrow.” There was that pull in her voice, that widening of her eyes, and the jut of her lower lip that broke him down every time. “You make it seem like I’m this horrible person for wanting you.”  
  
“No, it’s not that, it’s just-“ he started, but he gave up on trying to explain himself. She’d already won. He couldn’t deal with the guilt that always came along whenever he felt like he was rejecting her.  
  
She was quick to take advantage of his hesitation. “Come on, you could stand to blow off some steam anyway.”  
  
Logan sank down into the recliner behind him, letting his head rest against the plush leather. “Alright, lay it on me.” His hands beckoned her closer, and though she was a bit disappointed by his lack of enthusiasm, she’d take what she could get, easing into his lap and grabbing a hold of his shoulders.  
  
All Kandi really wanted was to see him get loose, to catch a glimpse of the darker side buried deep beneath his boyish grin and soft features. She needed him to just let go for once, to run wild, to be reckless. She needed to dig her nails into his back and feel the graze of his teeth against her bare skin. It was that primal urge that reared its head every once in a while, to brush away the formalities and the romance and just fuck.  
  
As her gaze drifted between his stare and his lips, silently begging him to kiss her, Kandi couldn’t help but wonder if he ever felt the same way.  
  
Logan had already given in once, he wasn’t going to give in a second time and make the first move, but the way he remained guarded didn’t throw her off at all. Her hands lightly cupped his jaw as she began to lean in, but just as her lips were on the verge of touching his, she stopped. Waiting for him to bridge the distance, a breath pushed past her lips, a slow and steady rush of warm air. She wanted so badly to open her eyes, to be able to gauge his reaction, but she kept her eyes closed, her entire body buzzing with anticipation as she patiently awaited the brush of his lips against her own.  
  
He didn’t let her down. Even though his frame remained steady, his muscles relaxed as he held her, his kiss was forceful, all of the emotions he kept held down bubbling to the surface. There was a reassurance in the way his grip on her hips tightened, and Kandi was suddenly all too aware that the distance had its toll on him as well. He put his feelings on the backburner the same way that she did when they were apart, he immersed himself in his career in the same way that she kept herself occupied with her classes. It was all a distraction. They were so used to having an entire country stretched out between them, so whenever they got the chance to be together, it was almost too much.  
  
She was still determined to take the lead, setting the tone for the evening as her lips tore away from his, her teeth grazing his earlobe before drifting down his neck, nipping at the delicate skin. He guided her back to meet his lips, his touch ghosting up her spine as her fingertips clutched at his scalp. Every bit of pressure that forced its way from his lips was countered by hers as the kiss deepened. Her fingers threaded through the espresso locks along the nape of his neck, effortlessly fluttering across his collarbone and flowing down his chest as her back arched, pressing her hips against his. They were slowly beginning to fall into their old patterns. The tips of his fingers toyed with the ends of the brunette curls that fell down her back, as her lips playfully tugged at his lower lip, edging him on. He broke away for a moment, pulling his t-shirt up over his torso before tossing the cotton to the carpet beside them. Kandi was quick to pick up where they’d left off, her lips melting into his while her hands skimmed the planes of his chest, relishing the warmth radiating from his bare skin and the rise and fall of each of his breaths.  
  
Pulling away, Logan left a quick kiss along the corner of her lips before his kisses wandered down her neck. As he eased the dainty black strap down her freckled shoulder, his lips pressed against the newly exposed skin, leaving lingering kisses in their wake. She felt a hand grasp her breast, the sudden touch unexpected and exhilarating. As he massaged the flesh, the tip of his tongue lightly traced the lavender lace, and she responded by clutching his shoulders harder and letting her head loll back.  
  
His lips pressed against her sternum before they reunited with hers in a passionate kiss, and his touch glided down her ribs and stomach. His hands curved around her thighs, and the sense of command in his grip made her tremble slightly as her imagination ran wild.  
  
As Logan’s touch continued to explore her body, his fingers ran through her hair, sliding down her back, grasping the band of her bra before unfastening the tiny hooks. Though she absolutely adored the unique yet racy top, Kandi was eager to get out of it, shaking the remaining strap off of her shoulder and letting the lace fall between them.  
  
Logan was something so familiar and yet so unknown at the same time, and just when she felt like she could guess his next move, he did something she never would’ve expected. He motioned for her to get up, and without an explanation, he grabbed her hand, leading her into his bedroom. Once they were safe behind closed doors, Kandi finally began to see him come unhinged. Logan gave her no warning as he pinned her against the wall beside his dresser. Though he had caught her completely off guard, her expression didn’t give her away as her fingers dipped between them, struggling to unbutton his jeans without missing a kissing beat.  
  
Once his pants were gathered down around his ankles, her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her as her hands clutched at his back for support. As his touch traversed her frame, his hands drifting down her sides, her gaze wandered towards his bedroom window. The glow from the moon leeched the tiny bedroom of all its color, leaving everything in ghastly shades of gray. Kandi couldn’t help but think to herself of how the full moon supposedly brought out the wildness in people and that she was somehow reaping the benefits.  
  
In the night, Logan was black and white, the moonlight exaggerating the striking contrast between his dark hair and coffee-colored eyes and the stretches of fair skin. There was a certain desperation in his eyes that she rarely ever saw, an almost insatiable quality in his stare that only turned her on even more for reasons that she’d never be able to explain.  
  
The muscles in her thighs tightened automatically as she felt Logan’s fingers tiptoe down the v of her pelvis. Any hint of tenderness had been thrown to the wayside as he pushed her thong aside, tucking the lace into the crease of her thigh before his fingers quickly stroked the sensitive flesh. As much as she tried, she couldn’t fight the urge to buck up to meet his touch, to seek out the friction she needed. His hips bore down against hers, steadying her frame against the wall as she gripped him tighter. What they had was always so back and forth, with the two of them generally taking turns being in control, and she had to admit that she got a bit of a natural high from having him dominate her.  
  
Logan was absolutely relentless.  
  
Instead of the slow-burning buildup that they had both grown accustomed to, Logan had decided to dive right in, the thrusts from his hips both quick and forceful, so much so that she wasn’t able to counter him. Their movements were frantic and arrhythmic, and though Kandi fought to kiss him, to make the moment more intimate, she had to break away as his lips parted. Pants fell heavy from his lips, but her voice encouraged him, the way her words unraveled into nothing more than vowels, her face buried in the crook of his neck as her breathing grew shaky.  
  
Even as she was coming undone, his pace failed to slow, and it wasn’t until her arms untangled from around his neck and one of her feet hit the floor that he pulled away. His fingers raked through the damp locks along his hairline, pushing them back as he let his eyes fall close, his chest heaving as he gathered his breath.  
  
Kandi left a quick kiss on his cheek before she made her way towards his bed, perfectly content to spend the remainder of the night wrapped up in his arms, but he had other plans in mind.  
  
“Hey,” he protested as his fingers curved around her upper arm. “I’m not finished with you yet.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” she teased. “I thought you were too tired from work and blah, blah, blah.”  
  
She tried to hide her flinch as she felt his palm smack her bare ass.  
  
“Don’t start what you can’t finish.”  
  
Kandi shook her head to herself as she neared the bed, trying not to stare as she watched him slide out of his boxers. She decided to follow suit, shedding her underwear before taking a seat on the edge of his bed, eager to be free of the leather boots that clung to her skin.  
  
As she sat on the edge of the bed, trying to inch the black leather down her leg, Logan took her hand.  
  
“Keep the boots on,” he suggested in a hushed whisper. “I think they’re kinda hot.”  
  
“Whatever you say,” she joked back before rolling back onto the mattress.  
  
She was lying on her stomach, her arms folded beneath one of his down pillows as she watched him from the corner of her eye. His breath floated up her back as he leaned down to kiss her shoulder blade. As his lips pressed against the nape of her neck, she could fell the weight of his body begin to settle along hers. His hands slipped in between her hips and the bed, fingers following the v of her pelvis until they came to rest between her legs.  
  
Kandi could feel the tension seep from her muscles, completely relaxed as Logan’s hand curved against her, his fingers stroking her lazily as his hipbones began to rock against her. It was comforting to feel every inch of his bare skin against hers, and she felt completely surrounded by him, but it wasn’t suffocating. The scent of his sweat intertwined with his cologne flooded her nostrils, the quickening beat of his heart and his labored breaths like a lullaby in her ear.  
  
This time, his thrusts came more slowly, the drag of his touch against her skin echoing the movements of his hips. As much as she longed to buck back against him, she couldn’t, and she found herself clenching the pillowcase, completely vulnerable to her boyfriend’s desires. Though he still had control, in this moment he was more like the Logan she knew and loved, and while it was nice to change things up, she appreciated the love that they made.  
  
They just fit, and he was the only person she’d ever been with that had meant anything.  
  
His voice was soft in her ear as he murmured the thoughts that ran through his mind in that instant. She loved hearing him describe everything to her because it let her know that he was just as much into it as she was. As the intensity began to build, she could hear his voice fade away, the words replaced by muffled groans as he neared his peak. His movements grew shaky with each thrust that followed, and he uttered her name in her ear before burrowing his head into the pillow.  
  
Once he had rolled over onto his side of the bed, his fingers wove into the spaces between hers, clutching her hand without a word.  
  
Her gaze drifted towards him. “Thanks.”  
  
His lips curved into a grin as he glanced back down at her. “For what?”  
  
“For just being you.”


End file.
